Clearview Students Tell Their Stories
Although at the beginning I wasn’t sure, and there were times when I had my doubts, I know now that this program has helped me in many ways. My entire life, both within the program, and outside of it with my friends and social life, provided a new lifestyle and a different aspect of life that I really learned from.
Moving across the country, making a whole new set of friends, going back to high school, and adapting to a new family and new life all “increased my comfort zone” very much. I think the changes in themselves made me a stronger, more adaptable person and I am much more able to deal with change. Also, the program gave me the chance to really act my own age and experience the high school life that I never would have experienced had I not ended up here. I made friends that I would not have befriended in my old lifestyle. Basically, I opened my mind and found real friends.
Living here for the past almost 11 months has made me a much stronger person physically, mentally, emotionally, and morally. I have changed so much it’s hard to think of how I was before I came to Clearview. I have worked on the many aspects of making myself healthier and stronger and, therefore, happier. I have had the chance to really think about who I am and what I believe in. Right now I have a strong grip on myself and know myself more than ever before. I feel comfortable with who I am and I don’t feel the need to prove anything to anyone anymore, whereas I used to think that I had to use drugs, friends, relationships, etc., to gain respect for myself. I’m happy with myself and I know now that I deserve more than I used to expect for myself. Now that I have realized this, I think that I can handle relationships, friends, family and life in general much better.
I’m not afraid to stand up for myself. In fact, these days it’s hard for me not to stand up for myself. Now that I’m happy with myself and my life, I have a lot more fun. I try things that I wouldn’t have tried before, and I want to really live my life now, really experience life to its fullest. I’m ready to go out and try everything I’ve always wanted to try!
I have learned so much this year about so many things. Mary Thielbahr, my mentor, has taught me so much about relationships, friendships, family, life and men. I just hope I remember it all when I need it!
This year has been a really good experience and I have grown from it. Even though it wasn’t all fun and games. I’m glad it happened.
–Student
Wow, this has been such an exciting, unbelievable 15 months of my life being in Clearview. All I can remember is the first time I arrived in Montana it was on August 28, 2009. I was wearing a California blue flannel and white leggings, high from cocaine and opiates. I first met Mary Thielbahr, the founder of Clearview and Troy Knight, the Admissions Director. I can always look back on my first rough months here and say, wow I’ve changed A LOT. I was this lost, crazy, out-of-control partier/druggie who needed safety and I actually decided it was time for some help. I had many regrets being here and I have lots of amazing moments with other students and staff. I was extremely manipulative and sneaky with everything I did here at Clearview. I was a compulsive liar and started a lot of drama. I was a big mess and I continued to self-sabotage myself anytime something good would happen to me. I continually got consequences for my poor choices.
I have grown so much this year. I can’t even believe all the crazy stuff I did here like when I stole the phone, ran away eight times, gave another student a razor, refused Sat crew, refused my consequences, refused school, getting in people’s faces, locking myself in the bathroom, piercing my ears, stealing people’s clothes, using other people’s things, and it goes on and on. But now I take a look at myself and I see a completely different person in me. I’m this strong woman looking for another chance at life. I know that I’ve earned a new beginning, I deserve and accept it. My mom and I had a toxic relationship and we both didn’t know how to be in a “real” positive relationship. I always told her things to push her away and had no hope. Now we have an amazing relationship thanks to Clearview.
I can’t believe I’ve been here for 15 months and I thought I was NEVER going to leave this place. I want to give thanks for everyone who’s helped me through the rough times and all the troubles. Clearview has taught me a lot and has helped me learn how to say no to things and say no to people. I have grown a lot stronger in myself and learned patience, even though I still have a hard time being patient. I’m working on being patient. I am now in an amazing place with myself and everyone here. I still look back to those days and think why did I do these things to myself and to other people? I appreciate all the staff, as much as they can get under my skin sometimes, and I am happy that they have been there for me through hell and back. I will never forget students here and Mary and Troy.
–2010 Student
Saying goodbye is something you have to do with everyone and everything at least once. It is one of the hardest things I have had to do. Being here eleven months is unreal! I have gotten to watch people who I loved more than ever leave as amazing people and now that I get to leave after growing and becoming stronger is such a struggle. I am now saying goodbye to the people I love and care about who have helped me grow into the person I am today.
When I first got to Clearview it was a bittersweet experience. I was glad to get out of my home environment because it was not a healthy place for me to be, but I didn’t want to be somewhere that was “unfamiliar and unsafe.”
Clearview has helped me more than I can express! I came here with so many issues that I didn’t even know about, and some that I just didn’t want to admit were true. I was a liar, I stole, I had a bad relationship with my family, I showed emotion through anger, self harm and making bad decisions, I had low self esteem, I didn’t have a real relationship with God and with others, and I was confused, hurt and lonely. As I began to grow at Clearview I got a Clear View of why I did some of these things and why I felt the way I did. Once I got to Clearview my struggle with knowing what to do with all the emotion inside of me was still there. Within the first few months I tried running away thinking it would get me away from my pain, but I found it follows you everywhere you go.
In my time here I have gained so many qualities I will be able to use throughout my lifetime. Having fourteen or more girls living in one house can get quite crazy. There is tons of drama, you never have time to yourself, and sometimes people are here that you just don’t get along with. Because of this I gained the ability to stay out of drama, be patient and forgiving, and to love and care for people who need it. The friendships I have made here are what got me through these eleven months. I now have healthy people to contact and keep me in my higher self. Along with my relationships with friends my relationship with God played a huge part in my life. Jeremiah 29:11 says “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “Plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a FUTURE and a HOPE.” That promise God made for us kept me going through it all. Knowing I have a purpose, and that I am not here for nothing helped me see myself in a brighter light.
Clearview also helped me face my fears and experience “the great outdoors.” I have never been an outside kind of girl so this was hard for me. The two big adventures we went on were a canoe trip and a white water rafting trip. The white water rafting trip is when I really began to see the world’s beauty and began figuring out who I was. There were no outside distractions. It was one of the best experiences of my life and I will carry those memories with me for the rest of my life.
As I look back at my time at Clearview there are things I hated about it, but the good things that I learned from this place overpower the bad! I am a new person and I still have more growing to do but with the tools Clearview gave me I will be able to fight and push through all the hardships life throws my way.
Love always and forever,
-Student
