Dad’s Role in the Family is Crucial
Daughters need dads to validate their self-worth. Many problems can come to a family and future relationships for the teen girls when a dad is absent. Having a dad who is not involved with his kids can also be difficult for young girls growing up.
An absent dad makes it hard on the mom. Moms must then must play both roles – a nurturer and an authoritarian. – This is confusing to the teens. Avoid in the teens life starts to form and can problems for their future.
Some Dads Are There, But They Are Disengaged
Having a father who is present, but disengaged can be a problem as well. This can be a bigger problem than a dad who is absent. A teen’s self-worth and identity is in jeopardy. Teen girls start to think that they are not important or not worthy of dad’s attention. The worse feeling for a teen is the feeling that they are a burden. Insecurities and anxieties start to form in the teen. Feelings of never measuring up or they aren’t good enough also form.
In a family, moms have the role of instilling value in their daughters. Dads validate it. If mom is doing her job, but dad is not right behind her doing the validating. A teen boy may enter inappropriate relationships to do that for him. Teen girls may go out and find another male who will do the same. Your teens want someone to validate their self-worth. In the end, teens can only get this validation from their dad.
Validation is like approval. It tells your son or daughter they are loved and accepted. Validation means they are a valued and vital part of the family. It tells your son or daughter that they are worthy of the adoration from their father. Telling your daughter these things work, but actions speak louder than words. Show you are interested in your daughter. Show her that you are not only willing to spend time with them but also show them you cannot wait for the next time you two can spend together. Show her that it’s a significant and important part of your life.
If your teen daughter doesn’t have a father figure in her life, there are always other men that can step up and help. Ask your pastor, youth minister, or other family members.
A man was slowly passing away from cancer. He asked six different men to look after his children after he died. This father understood the importance of having a father in your children’s lives. He made sure his sons and daughters would have the support and validation they desperately needed.
My Teen Doesn’t Want to Spend Time with Me
Not every dad knows how to be a good father. Usually it’s because they didn’t have a good example growing up. That could be why there is problems in your relationship. A shift in parenting to become a validator will allow you to experience something you may never have had before in a relationship.
Perhaps you are struggling with your troubled teen. You find moments where you want to cut off the relationship and say, “Enough is enough!” Maybe you’ve gotten overly involved in projects, sports, or work and avoided your daughter. Unruly teens still want their dad’s attention. Your teen might not say it or show it, but no matter how bad it gets, daughters still need their father.
When fathers go through this, they might have extra work to validate their teen daughters. After a while fathers can ask their teen, “Am I around you enough?”, “Am I supporting you?”, “Do you know that you can always count on me?” A lot of times, teens don’t know how to talk to their fathers. Dad’s desire to talk to them shows that he cares.
If you are a father that feels you have lost all connection with your daughter, showing them that you desire time and interaction with them will still make a difference. Don’t give up.
Steps Toward Validation
Positive validation through mutual participation in an activity shows your teen that you care. Encourage and praise them, even when it is hard to find things about them to praise.
Every troubled teen yearns for attention their parents. They might not trust you at first because they haven’t felt like am important part in your life. Be consistent with wanting to spend time with them. Your daughter will feel validated as they begin to think that you want to be with them and have a relationship.
A mom and dad’s presence is important in a child’s life. Parents need to pay attention to their daughter’s needs. Without their parent’s attention, teen girls will look for value and validation somewhere else. Usually they find this attention in all the wrong places like bad friend groups or boyfriends. In the end, they will never find it.
Helping Troubled Girls Find a Better Path in Life
For nearly 30 years, the Clearview Girls Academy, a therapeutic boarding school for girls, has helped young women solve difficult emotional issues such as: attachment disorders, attention deficit, eating disorders, anxiety, depression, self-destructive or antisocial behavior, and issues involved with adoption. We will help your daughter get past her emotional and trauma struggles, as we have done for so many others. Please inquire online or call us.
Get Help For Your Daughter Now (888) 796-5484