In the Bible, Second Corinthians 4:16 tells us that “We do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.” In this, we are reminded that we should never measure our growth by appearances. It is not what we see when we look in the mirror, rather it is what we feel when we look into our hearts. It is natural to fear change. It is in our character to desire control. However, while natural, when this desire hinders our child from getting treatment, then this desire becomes dangerous.
As parents, many of us worry that our daughter will not be the same person after treatment. The truth is that this worry is based on who our daughter was before she needed help. When this fear and a sense of a loss of control arises, it’s easy to ignore all the struggles our daughter is currently going through. Yet, we still fear what may happen to our daughter in treatment.
The answer to the question of change is relatively straightforward. No, your daughter will not be the same when she comes home from treatment. She will be a healthier, more recovered version of herself. However, also rest assured that your child will not be “de-personalized” or voided of the traits that already made her so special in the first place.
Remembering the Reason for Recovery
When struggling with the often overwhelming decision to seek treatment, it can be easy to lose the forest for the trees. It may be critical to step back for a moment and forget the fear of seeking treatment and focus on the reason why you are seeking treatment. Most likely it is because you are concerned about your daughter’s future. This is an understandable, responsible, and noble concern.
We understand the fear you can feel when you are looking for your healthy child and find a shattered and struggling version of her. For most parents, the moment their daughter is born, their primary self-interest instantly shifts to their child’s well-being. So when we see that that well-being is threatened, we tend to try to recapture the past version of our child rather than focus on paving the way for a recovered future.
Removing the Wreckage of the Past
When our child is struggling, we often don’t know which way to turn. This can create uncertainty that often gets in the way of our daughter’s best interest. That is why this uncertainty needs to be combated with a better understanding of treatment.
It is crucial to remember that your daughter’s negative behaviors are not happening simply because she wants to be disruptive and destructive to herself and those around her. Those behaviors are not isolated. They almost always correlate to underlying mental health issues and/or emotional traumas.
The goal of treatment is to find the root causes of your daughter’s behaviors. This can help her begin to better understand why she is struggling and experiencing such negative consequences. The goal of treatment is also to discover and explore those past experiences, so she can begin to grow from them. We need to “clear the wreckage of our past,” so we can move forward on the road of recovery.
A Renewed Life in Recovery
It is a misconception to believe that the goal of recovery is to go back to the person we once were. The goal of recovery is to find that person we once were and improve upon it. Treatment is about eliminating that which is shrouding the person we once were and then utilizing new tools to grow as an individual.
For our students here at Clearview Girls Academy, we have many tools and resources we can utilize to help facilitate recovery. These resources range from the more “traditional” talk therapies like cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) to more “exploratory” therapies like equine therapy. We also offer neuropsychological therapies like eye movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy (EMDR).
Whatever modalities of therapy, tools, or techniques we use, we want you to know that each one has been specifically chosen to meet your daughter’s individualized needs. There is no umbrella treatment here at Clearview Girls Academy. We perform the assessment and treatment planning for each of our students very seriously and diligently. No student is the same, therefore their recovery shouldn’t be either.
Maintaining a Healed Relationship After Treatment
Chances are you wouldn’t be considering treatment, or even reading this for that matter, if you didn’t have serious concerns for your child. We want you to know that that is not something to be fearful about. It is something that should be commended.
Here at Clearview Girls Academy, we do not shy away from our faith in God and our belief in the teachings of Jesus Christ. We often rely on Psalm 56:3 in times of struggle. It reads, “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.” Not everyone shares a belief in God, and this is completely fine. We do find, however, that a spiritual connection to anything that makes sense, including to nature, can help girls thrive.
We understand that this is a scary time. However, you should know that you are not alone. Have faith that with help your daughter can recover, and your relationship will feel nothing like it once did. It will feel exponentially better.
When asking the question “Will my daughter be the same after recovery?” it is important to define “the same.” Parents and caretakers often seek treatment as a last resort. They often feel at the end of their rope. This is because their child has begun acting out and behaving in concerning or dangerous ways. That’s why “the same” is not what the desired result of recovery should be. To change the question to “How will my daughter change after recovery?” the answer is often immeasurably for the better. No, your daughter will not return from recovery the same person. She will return with positivity, growth, and excitement for the future. For more information, contact Clearview Girls Academy at (888) 796-5484.
